"I never seen a man cry, til' I seen a man die..." -Scarface
Real quick...
The first time I saw a man cry in real life, it was my father. Once when I was young, I was riding my bike far on the other side of my little town house community. I was speeding so fast that I fell and broke my jaw, skinned the bottom of my chin (which is now permanently a little crooked) and had stitches and was also bleeding from my ear. He was a big man, over 6 ft tall, he carried me home barefoot. Neighbors said he just took off running after he got the call. The last time I saw him cry was when his soul left his body. Shortly after, I lost a friend to the streets and his best friend cried at the funeral. I was amazed to see this hard, thug type dude cry the way he did. But we expect to see men cry in situations in which someone has been physically hurt or has died.
When I'm not fighting the world or juggling single motherhood and reading, I definitely check out what's going on in reality tv. I guess it's the mere curiosity or perhaps the boredom and lack of a social life. I became attached to Day 26 and their story more so than their music. Raised in the Biggie and Tupac era, I still long for the days of 112, Boys II Men, Silk, etc. hoping that these young men can live up to the expectations of those before them. Well........
you see...there is a problem. The men are having issues getting along and this episode brought something to my attention. Women everywhere have been calling the men in this group bitches, homo's, fag's, cry babies, etc. because of the way they expressed themselves in this clip. Mainly, because of how the men were crying after the altercation occurred. I wonder if the whole "no bitchassness" is another way of suppressing the idea of emotionalism in men because it is seen as weak. Are men only allowed to cry during certain special occasions?
6 hours ago
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10 people in a black girls thoughts:
A real man can cry. And show his feelings.
This was a wonderful post. I don't have cable (and if I did I probably still wouldn't watch, lol) but on Twitter all I could see when the show was on were comments similar to what you just put...this is very interesting and something I have thought about before.
I also think it has to do with what we perceive as masculine (looks-wise). If it's a thug-looking guy or something and he cries it's judged a lot differenty than a metrosexual or just differently-dressed type guys crying.
I'm always wiping tears from my eyes. Usually just emotional joy sorta stuff.
Usually it's humiliating. Sometimes I just exit where I'm at. I almost always make some effort to cover it up.
Hello, I am dropping through to see if you are dropping wisdom and I picked up a little something.
Drop through when you have time
I believe I have seen my father cry but I am not fully sure. He usually gets really quiet and thats about it. Outside of my job, I do not see men cry, especially Black men.
Where's the BG?!
Hope you are well.
SH
You are such a gem...really, i love to hear from young women and men like yourself. You give me so much hope. I know i didn't figure it all out in my young days and i'm still trying to wade through the storm in my older days, but know this young lady...it is people like that give me hope, and have me keep going, and have me keep believing that no matter our circumstances...we are here for a reason, your reason, your gift has already been determined. Keep reaching my sister. I luv you forever for that!
Nice post. Nothing wrong with crying as long as you don't make a habit. I think when you show emotion it allows you to balance things out in your life and you can continue on in life on a level playing field
It think the problem in the US is the image of manhood is one that has been heavily tainted. I find here in the Middle East manhood is more defined on how you are with your family, getting married, having kids, and raising said kids. All the elements of tough are simply expressions of how one lives their life with the prior mentioned ideals. Now concerning crying and men, I think that only some level one can't really judge what is and isn't masculine because who decides what that means to begin with.
Concerning, conflict it be very emotional and sometimes when one doesn't release it somehow emotions can take over. There are some guys who release it by getting away from everyone and everything. There are some guys who release it by working out and there are some guys who have ot cry because there are so many places where they can't be emotional. Once again I found this more when I lived in the US.
let me inside your thoughts