case of the ex..."jumpoff"

"you know you dun' fuk'd up right?" ~Menace II Society

***Update***

Since I have been stalked, contacted by the "young chic" who was briefly mentioned in this blog and she wishes that I would not discuss her in my blogs anymore...I've decided to "scratch out" (LOL) anything that may pertain to her specifically... 7/2/2009....

Recently, I "rejoined" fb (that's www.facebook.com) for the social network challenged...growing tired (frequently dropping out) of Myspace, I often deleted my page and found myself feeling paranoid about having friends lingering around that I couldn't connect with and vice versa (the internet is the cyber water cooler, high school reunion, summer picnic in the park, etc). But there is a considerable amount of drama that comes along with being too readily available on the internet. Many people from the past and present who wish to do you "grammatical harm" often frequent the internet and use it as a tool to bully and make pseudo threats that would more than likely not occur in "real life". But I digress, what I really want to discuss is what happens to women when they become disenchanted, disenfranchised, disheartened by the dick...yup...I said it.

Awhile ago, I went through a horrendous break up with the "father" of my youngest 2 children. During this time, I managed to pinpoint 2 women (who he was having a serious relationship with at the same time)and we began doing what most women do when they find out what type of loser they have been with...we began to compare dates and conversations...Realizing that one of the ladies was older (the older= mid 30's ::the main chic:: 17 years younger than the offender) was very immature and insecure and couldn't be a part of our "bigger and better thangs clique"...

So this sister (the older chic) and I frequently spoke on the phone and emailed one another (which was really our way of making sure neither of us were still "messin" with him) I pretended to act aloof, but I knew the deal. No one was more ready to move on than I was. I was left with the children while they were the ones going out and having a good time with him, getting gifts and all the good sex (the only thing he really had to offer)so they had to put up more of a fight. After a while, I noticed that this "friendship" with this sister was unhealthy and based in some sick dependent need we had with one another, trying to validate our worth by bashing a man and his girlfriend (rudypoot who stayed)was always the means for discussion. I quickly grew tired of hearing about what he did, what he said, what he was gonna do, blah, blah, blah...it was time to let go.

So, I refused to take any of her calls and emails and moved on.

her 1st facebook message Wed 5:30pm:

"what up wit ya
what u doing on here"

like she's known me all my life, we haven't even met...

Me: I ignored her...thought the situation was going to go away...

A good friend of mine who happens to be a male...came to see me on my birthday, we spent some time discussing our relationships. He mentioned something that a sister said to him that was very negative. I felt bad because he saw her on my myspace page a couple of years ago, thought she was cute, and I introduced them. When she met him, she realized he wasn't her type, but while communicating with him over the phone and via email for over a year, he WAS her type. He was upset and the fact that he is my friend, I was upset too.

This woman tried to add me as a friend on facebook...Thu 6/11 @12:49am

Me: I ignored her request...but posted a nice note on my page entitled:
"I reject the BS" on Thu @11:58 am:

Yeah, so...we ain't really cool like "dat"...

The older I get the more I realize how some people just need to be put the F*ck down. I care about the people within my tight knit circle who care about me, I'm that type of friend. So when my boy told me you flat out disrespected him, I took it personally so don't smile & beguile like we cool b/c we NOT.

He may still want to play games with you, but on the real...when you set standards for yourself and no longer tolerate the bullshyt you teach people self control. So...from chic to chic...get a grip. and Soooo...yeah... I'm going to respectfully decline your request...to...be friends? internet pals? and be the example of what he should've done...which is leave your bourgeoisie ass where you stand.

It's really unfortunate that sisters would much rather have a brutha in their lives who dogs em, sleeps with her friends, beats around bushes, puts you behind him instead of by his side...it's unfortunate that sisters like to date men who are overwhelmed with offers from other sisters because you think nabbing him is going to validate your existence...you're WEAK....that's WEAK...he has this thing about him, makes him want to pick up wounded birds, heal em' and send em back into the wild...me: I pass em' by...

These "slight slips of the tongue" really give good insight to a person's character, theres a psychological term for such occurrences, Freud talks about them. You accidentially say what you mean and accidentially mean what you say...a little word of advice:


Stop playing yourself

watch ur mouf

stop thinking you can push over the "good guys" & there will be no repercussions

don't FuCk with my friends



HE'S A GOOD BROTHER. and a helluva' friend.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Can you even predict what happened next?

There is nothing like a note from someone who is incredibly clueless about what the hell is going on and has no idea...

Plastered on my fb page underneath the note reads:

June 12 9:22pm

"If ur referring to me im not trying to be ur friend and he gone be who he is ur gonna always deal with the BS and he will always try and get some and believe what u want too and no u aint claiming him as a good dude so reject that!!!"

Stop the presses...I...am....weak.............

.........grabs my composure...........

Sypnosis:

1. I haven't spoken to this offender in months
2. Why would he be the "good guy"?

3. Did you really have to try to go there?

4. I have many men in my life.

*clearly mistaken identity and not the dude you think it is*

so why and wow.

my response:

"that was not directed towards you, trust and believe **** is not the topic of my every conversation, as a matter of fact, he's no longer relevant and has already been replaced. I'm moving on with my life, that was directed to a chic who disrespected a male friend of mine...why would you think this was about you? Did you read it fully?"

jumpoff:

"my bad thought that cuz i sent u a message saying whats up that u meant me by sayin deny request or internet pals sorry bout and i no what u mean bout him **** word"

my response:

"but real talk, that was kinda foul how you just put a message up on there almost putting my business in the street when i have not only long term friends but also family on my facebook acct...seems like every time you come around i start to hear from **** again and i no longer need him in our lives...my children are well taken care of and i have a man who treats me so good...i really don't need him trying to come around, call and mess shyt up for me and my children. Seems like you still stuck thinking about **** when i'm not that's why i didn't respond to your message because i know that is really the only thing we have in common and i'd rather not revisit the past...but i wish you well sincerely...and i hope you have/can move on too."

I will never understand it...the thing that happens between women who are stuck, dazed and confused over a man...the competition, insecurity and ridiculousness that ensues is worth psychological study and deserves its own medical term. My page had to have been stalked on a daily by both of these chics (once on myspace and now facebook). I admit, I'm curious as well, the furthest I have gone was a search for a photo. As the former "main" chic, I wanted to know what it was that made this man cheat on me and mess up his relationship with our 2 children, was it her ass, her eyes, (Ms. Celie: "I just need to see her eyes...") her lips? Did she have hair down her back? Nah, they didn't and I won't post a picture of them because that would be pety...*this maturity thing is HARD AS HELL! cause yall should see this shyt!!!*

(((wooosaaaah)))

Anyway, it's never about the woman when it comes to a man being disrespectful of persons but always about him lacking character and strength to do what is best. He simply wasn't the one for me and I'm glad I found that out before we walked down the aisle. So to you sister, we don't need to be friends, we don't need to dwell on the past, and we are cut from two very different cloths...