the head banger.

So, I had been speaking with this brother frequently for a few weeks. We knew each other from High School, bumped into one another at a party (that I went to on a whelm) and reconnected after 13 years or so. I was a lonely stay at home mom, bored to death, and the only lovin' I was getting was in the fictional blogs I was writing at that time. The children had been getting on my last damn nerves and other than a few guest appearances from my handsome but egotistical "baby daddy/co-parent" who lived out of town, there was no telling when the next gravy train was coming through and my turkey was drying up fast. So, I decided I better go ahead and jump up on "it". He was always a rather big guy, but with my extra pounds, I figured his wasn't that bad. He was still very much handsome, nice, and the conversation was stimulating. Besides, I needed to get out of the house, kick this funk, and start meeting some new people.

He didn't short change me when it came to taking me out. He liked to have a good time. We went to some nice spots, never looking towards me to go into my purse, he would end the dates with a long, sensual kiss, and after lots of laughs and alcohol, we would call it quits. Then one day, I asked the inevitable question:

"Do you have a woman in your life? I mean...are you seeing someone?"

"Yes."

"Well why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know."

Unfortunately, I still found myself attracted to him. We had decided that we would be "friends" and that we would still hang out and he made a point to stop by and talk with me on occasion. I know, stupid, but at this point in time in my life I was desperate for some type of interaction with a man and it didn't hurt that he wasn't trying to get me in the bed right away. He even did little favors for me around the house and when I began a new job, he picked me up from work when I got stranded and dropped me off a few times.

Well of course, this only heightened my curiosity. So I decided to entice him with a few erotic poems and even invited him to become a reader of some of my erotic blogs. At that point, I wanted to get some, get laid, twurk somethin', get it poppin' (dot, dot, dot). I was slowly realizing that I was becoming a grown ass woman and hell, he was attached. This was going to be easy. I could turn him into a freak buddy overnight and still reap the benefits of getting out and away from the children when I wanted to. Simple.

After a few more weeks of dropping sexual innuendos and bringing up the kinky details of my girlfriends sex life:

"So what do you think about tossing salads? My girl tells me her man lets her do it to him all the time. I just think that is some nasty shit! Don't you?"

"Whatchu' mean nasty? I mean, that's her man right? They should be able to do what ever they want to each other."

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaayum. Not that I'm into tossing ANYbody's salad, but the fact that he was open to the thought kinda let me know that he was into experimentation and perhaps I could have some fun with him after all.

Chuch.

So one night, he picks me up and I can tell he's on his aggressive, I'm gonna give her what she wants, the good guys always finish last, so I'm nailing her to the cross act. I'm like whatever, I've seen this before: he stops at the liquor store, gets my favorite drink: Vodka & Cranberry, but he gets the Grey Goose, so I know he's not a really used to this. If he was a real asshole, he would've grabbed the Seagrams. He wasn't "that dude" but I let him pretend to be. I can dig a little role play.

We pull up to the nice hotel and he says, "Is this cool?"

I give him a quiet nod, act as if I'm a little shocked that he would bring me there and he proceeds to go and check us in.

We enter the room, look around, make ourselves comfortable and begin having a few drinks. The kissing began to commence, I'm in his lap...

and...

the brotha...

started to sweat...

So, I'm wiping his forehead, like okay...what the hell? Is he nervous? He gets up and says he was going to take a shower. I was freshly washed so I declined to join in, but as he was undressing, I began to see just how large this brother was. He was chunky as hell...thick, enormously round around the middle and his ass was wide and flat. I am nearsighted so I didn't want to be too-too obvious trying to squint to see if I could see exactly what he was working with...but I began to feel a little frustrated...

Ugggggggggggggggh! Okay, okay, too late to turn back now...I can do this...I can do this...besides, dude is a freaaaaaaaaak! I just know he's a freak....this...is...gon'....be....goooooood....

I started undressing quick. I got down to my cute lil' lingerie set and laid out across the bed on my tummy. {salad tossing position} When he emerged, things seemed to flow nicely, the kissing the rubbing, soon turned into licking, then sucking...and then I realized...

this fool got a lil' dick? Awwwwwh daaaaaaaaaayum....how is he gonna be that big....with a lil--damn.

I'm riding him, trying to latch my walls around something, anything, a knee cap, a thigh...and he's talking big shit. I slam my hand down over his mouth and roll my eyes. I'm pumping for dear life. Then he decides to do it...

He decides to flip me over and give me the worst head...that I have EVER had...in my ENTIRE LIFE!

People. I never write about my sex life. If I do, it's usually in third person, untraceable, and so good that I want to keep every moment to myself. I've been holding this in for too long and I don't care what people think. This should never happen to any woman.

So.

He proceeds to suck the life out of my clitoris. Now, at first I was thinking...{always thinking} Okay, this ain't that bad. His tongue was kinda fierce and I thought maybe, just maybe, if I couldn't get what I was looking for in the other department, just maybe, I could get it there. He sucked my clitoris so hard, that...I thought, I literally thought...it was going to pop. I screamed so loud, that I think he thought that meant it was feeling good. For a moment, it felt like he was biting my clit. As a matter of fact, I think he was...biting my clit! [Big, hungry ass, clit murderer was biting my clit!]

I was pushing his forehead with so much force and his big, thick neck, was so strong that his head didn't budge...

I was so done. He sexually assaulted the puss. I didn't know what to say or what to do. I couldn't look him in the eye. I was ready to leave. I pretended to enjoy it all. The best part of the evening was my favorite drink, which failed me because had I not had it, I probably would have used better judgment when I saw him undressing or even at the first hint of sweat coming out of his nervous forehead.

Get this: the next day, I wake up, clit is completely sore. I look down and it's RED... I could not sit down without feeling pain for about 3 or 4 days.

When I told him what he did, he didn't sound that sympathetic. Perhaps he didn't fully understand the extent of his inflictions. But needless to say, his ass didn't get any more of this! After THAT!

"Why haven't I seen you in so long ms. lady...."

"Oh...ummm...I was visiting relatives in South Africa..."

{I've never been as far as the Mississippi delta}

The moral of this story is...

when somebody is a suspected freak...

always...

ALWAYS....

ALWAYS...

ALWAYS...

get a second opinion.