revolutionary suicide.

so many of our people are looking for a way out...some form of escapism to avoid the harsh realities in which we see in our neighborhoods, families, and work environment. due to an overwhelming need for escapism:

Escapism is mental diversion by means of entertainment or recreation, as an "escape" from the perceived unpleasant aspects of daily stress. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to try to help relieve feelings of depression or general sadness.

...we have found our communities plagued with psychological illness, physical abuse, substance abuse, debt, lack of education, etc...and what's worst is that these behavioral patterns are often passed down from generation to generation.

one thing i have begun to realize is that White people do not (for the most part) see themselves as a collective of White people but more or less understand the barriers that seperate people due to class and social issues that makes each individual unique. what i mean by that is: White people do not focus on issues pertaining to White people only. they do not see the negative occurences of misguided behavior, thought, philosphy as something that relates to their being White. perhaps this is due to luxury that years of racial oppression and White supremacy has afforded them. nonetheless, it is definitely something that i've been thinking about greatly.

have we in the conscious community, as Black people become too involved in beating a dead horse? i was raised by a woman who made her way through the military and became a nurse while having 2 children at the age of 15 & 16 and she managed to make a successful career and life for herself. i know a sister who was raised in foster care, still has a shaky relationship with her drug addicted mother who abandoned her and is now working on her masters degree. i guess my reasoning for this is due to the overall lack of unity that i've been noticing amongst Black people who have either become academically progressive, or what we may call "conscious" in the quote/unquote revolutionary movement. we have failed to pinpoint a solution that will change the condition of the "Black problem" and find ourselves bickering, fighting, and struggling with one another. i wonder if there are many of us with misplaced anger because of broken dreams that we have failed to bring into fruition.

i watch a lot of videos on youtube & (have made some of my own) and i've come to realize that there are many people who have no other outlet to relieve the stress and strain they feel in regards to what they see around them and feel inside. so many of us are conscious of oppression but are not conscious of freedom and what it really takes to gain peace of mind. i do not wish to negate the fact that racism exists, however, in our search for a cultural identity, are we making a mistake by giving failure a front row seat by blaming others?

perhaps the reason why we cannot "unite" is really based in the fear that responsibility will truly rest in the nature of the work and commitment we put in to do something about our own conditions...

...as individuals.