ur sweetness.is my weakness.

so yeah. i get sent on an errand to pick up 2 chocolate donuts for my diabetic mother and i walk into all this.



I am a HUGE cheesecake fan but sweets in general have been a problem for me...over the course of 5 years I've managed to go from looking like a 15 year old to a 40 year old...





My oldest child & I along the "Magnificent Mile"
Then (age 25)...



Last summer I did a good mediocre job of sucking in the gut (got down to 150)









Now. (age 30)


that is "I" on the left and yeah its probably one of my "better" photos in terms of showing my weight...I was 200lbs after my last childbirth...so out of fairness:

****fat photo that I declined to insert goes here****


and "blah, blah, blah" I hear, oh you're just "thick" as if that's supposed to mean something to someone who spent a majority of her life in the 115-125 lbs. range...and "blah, blah, blah" I've had 2 kids within those 5 years, but damnit...it aint gettin' any better. I would much more prefer my collar bone to protrude out of my chest than to be draggin' a big, jiggly arse behind me. I'm now 165 lbs (on a 5lb yo-yo tilt *higher and lower*) "according to MY scale" the doctor's office always places an extra 10 lbs on a sistuh...If I try to wear some shorts this summer I'm sure my thighs will end up on www.Mediatakeout.com or some "hotghettomess" website.

Shyt the devil makes me do/eat/devour/consume:

I figure the only way to get through this and get help is to confess my sins.

Doritos w/hot melted cheese

Sara Lee cheesecake with strawberries

Breyers Vanilla Ice Cream (throw some Strawberry Crush Pop on it...What?)

Turkey Nachos: Lime flavored Tortilla chips, ground turkey(cooked in Lawry's Taco seasoning), sour cream, melted cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato & taco sauce (bytch please u don't know nan')

Jolly Rancher lollipops (apple & grape preferably...yeah preferably)

Popeyes Chicken

<----for shame, did I even have to say it?


well, I'll stop there, my revolutionary friends who are "gungho" on being Vegan are probably gagging & kicking me out the cliques...I haven't been Vegan in well...maybe...well I be damn...about 5 or 6 years...but going Vegan again isn't like riding a bike...

seems like these last 20-30lbs are giving me so much trouble!

The 48 Laws of Power page 267:
The Reality: Change is slow and gradual. It requires hard work, a bit of luck, a fair amount of self-sacrifice, and a lot of patience.
The Fantasy: A sudden transfromation will bring a total change in one's fortunes, bypassing work, luck, self-sacrifice, and time in one fantastic stroke.

Okay, so I need to take my life/health back...I'll do great for a week or two and then all of a sudden, one cup of coffe or tea with extra sugar has me back on the wagon...tryin' to squeeze into some skinny jeans. It's summer time and hells no! I'm not hanging in the house this year...So it's time to put in some real work.

Mmmmh...maybe I'll start posting before and after photos...bubblegum stomach and all...(yeah right) stay tuned...