coming of age...30

i see u looking at me
afraid of being left behind
traces of gray shining from your crown
you touch them with wonder
i think they make you look wise
except for when you're eating double stuffed oreo's
you've daydreamed about this day
white picked fences included
i loved your fantasies
i realize reality is too much for you to bare
so i'll spare you those tales
but maybe you knew Santa wasn't real
you were focused on so much more
staring at the future me
this isn't a feeling i suppose
but more like...acceptance
all things in time must grow
you've had your shine
danced in the light of a million beams
careless
leaving toys all about
someone's got to clean this up
but don't get me wrong
we can still be friends
i just can't play any more.

the hearts of men

"I never seen a man cry, til' I seen a man die..." -Scarface

Real quick...

The first time I saw a man cry in real life, it was my father. Once when I was young, I was riding my bike far on the other side of my little town house community. I was speeding so fast that I fell and broke my jaw, skinned the bottom of my chin (which is now permanently a little crooked) and had stitches and was also bleeding from my ear. He was a big man, over 6 ft tall, he carried me home barefoot. Neighbors said he just took off running after he got the call. The last time I saw him cry was when his soul left his body. Shortly after, I lost a friend to the streets and his best friend cried at the funeral. I was amazed to see this hard, thug type dude cry the way he did. But we expect to see men cry in situations in which someone has been physically hurt or has died.

When I'm not fighting the world or juggling single motherhood and reading, I definitely check out what's going on in reality tv. I guess it's the mere curiosity or perhaps the boredom and lack of a social life. I became attached to Day 26 and their story more so than their music. Raised in the Biggie and Tupac era, I still long for the days of 112, Boys II Men, Silk, etc. hoping that these young men can live up to the expectations of those before them. Well........

you see...there is a problem. The men are having issues getting along and this episode brought something to my attention. Women everywhere have been calling the men in this group bitches, homo's, fag's, cry babies, etc. because of the way they expressed themselves in this clip. Mainly, because of how the men were crying after the altercation occurred. I wonder if the whole "no bitchassness" is another way of suppressing the idea of emotionalism in men because it is seen as weak. Are men only allowed to cry during certain special occasions?